Patty's Birthday

For my sister's birthday we all went out for dinner at a Moroccan Restaurant "Sultan's Tent". It was really nice and the food was great. Wish I could have ate more but I still enjoyed a little of everything. They had great service and they even had belly dancers. After dinner we decided to go to a lounge and just relax, have a few drinks and chat. We ended up at this Russian Bar called Pravada. It was totally Communist with pictures of Lenin and Che on the wall and even the big worker's party symbol. The drinks were expensive but hey we had a great time.

Chicago

I just spent the last week in Chicago and it was awesome!!! I Lloved seeing everyone again it really made me feel great. It was awesome to be able to hug Rolis and to chill with him. It was great to see my family and to meet the new addition little Lourdes. Some old sparks flew and some things were better left untouched. All in all I had a great time and it was awesome to be able to participate in the AIDS walk and to walk 3 miles and feel great about myself. I have Victor and Rolis to thank for making me feel like I could accomplish it and for being there with me every step of the way. You guys are truly awesome and u are both loved. It was also great to meet Candy and Bonnie, very sweet dogs.

I've made it past the 6 month barrier and I couldn't be happier with my results. As some of u already know I'm just about u hit my first 100 pounds lost!!! (only 3 more pounds to go) Its been a long road sometimes so painful emotionally and physically but totally worth it. I'm starting to feel better about myself and the changes I have made but there is still a lot to be done and I will work on those things slowly but surely. Rashid who has really been there for me through some really tough moments emotionally and for that I will forever be thankful. Thanks for being angry with me that one night because it made me realize that I need to take myself seriously and that I should be the most important thing in my life. I'm slowly working on the things we talked about. Sandra who must have called hundreds of times to check on me the day of my surgery and who msgs me almost every day to check on me and who cares about me so much and always tells me that I'm worth so much. Thank you for trying to get me to believe that I'm matter enough to go through all this. Your right I should be happy with my success and I shouldn't let anyone or anything ruin it. It should really all be about ME ME ME!! I love u and u have always been my best friend. To Rolis my baby for always believing in me and for telling me every day how beautiful I am. For making me feel sexy and beautiful and for loving me and wanting nothing in return. Thanks for signing me up to do the AIDS walk with u in Chicago. I'm looking forward to it. Dwayne thanks for making me look in the mirror and telling me that I need to tell myself that I'm GREAT, I love u for caring about me so much. I promise u one day I will look in the mirror and tell myself "I'm the shit...muah" but for now I look in the mirror and I'm starting to see it little by little so just be patient. I will also stop letting people treat me like crap because ur right I'm worth more. Patty and I shared the best moment for me so far when we went shopping and I discovered that I had lost 6 dress sizes. I couldn't help but cry because it was the best moment, the best feeling so far...well and stepping on the scale and realizing I only have 3 pounds to my first 100. I haven't said this enough but it really meant a lot to me to have u there by my side during the really hard moments. Thanks for playing nurse and for forcing me to take my protein shakes and even know for continuing to crush my pills and shove protein shakes down my throat till this very day. Gaby was there that day too so she knows it was an emotional moment, we all tired not to cry in the dressing room. I told u one day u would be able to hug me (all of me lol) Gumpy even though things haven't always been so smooth I'm thankful that u were there for me in the hospital. I still remember the look on ur face when u saw me after the procedure and I was bending over in pain. Thanks for always making me eat something even when I'm being dumb and saying "no it will make me fatter". Sofia thanks for being supportive when I was at ur house and could only eat my protein shakes. It was so cute that u went out of ur way and just had soup so I wouldn't smell any good food. We will get to go shopping soon in the same stores for once!!! Thanks to my family, Vanessa, Irene, Tia Hilma, Tia Edel and Carmen for being supportive and for being so excited for me. Its great to feel the love. Again thanks to everyone that has motivated me and who have been there for me through the good and tough moments. Thanks for standing by me when I made my decision, which has turned out to be the best in my life.


UPDATE: As of August 29th I have now officially lost 100 pounds and according to the dietitian with the program I'm ahead of the game. The average weight loss by the one year mark is 100 pounds and I lost that much in just a little under 7 months so I'm really doing well. I'm happy and I'm going to keep loosing more.

TaMpOnS

So I recently received some free products from OB...to try and give out to my friends. I haven't yet used them but they seem really cool. They are great for the environment, small and come in little carrying cases. Never thought I would be telling my girlz to try a certain Tampon but hey why not. If u want to get some free samples let me know or follow the link below.

UPDATE:
I have now tried the product myself and I was impressed by how easy it was to use and it was really comfortable. I wasn't sure I would be ok with out the applicator it was great. I would recommend it for sure.

www.mightysmall.com/mightysample

Road Trip August 08

I had the best time this weekend. Adrian and I went on a little ROAD TRIP. Best of all I got to visit the Pdot (Peterborough) again. I saw Sako and Alison which was awesome it really made my day. We went to the Trash and to Sin City. Then for lunch the next day to the Old Stone.
Friday we drove to Buffalo and did a little shopping. Then we went to a nite club on Cliffton Hill in Niagara, Rumours it was lots of fun...big crowd and lots of dancing. Saturday we spent the afternoon near the Falls and we went on the sky wheel which wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. Then we hit a couple of Wineries and did a little tasting at a dollar a glass why not? LOL...Then we got back to Toronto and stocked up on some liquor and had a good night.

Last Week (July 24-26)

Last week I had to enjoy my last days off so I decided to enjoy some of Toronto's sites. I went to the Zoo and to Bluffer's Park. Both required a lot of walking and I was amazed at how much I could actually do and not be so tired. I really enjoyed it and I felt great about myself...apparently I look great as well LOL!!!

Charlie's First Birthday

My little puggle is finally one and I'm happy but at the same time I miss him being little. Now he is just a big pug monkey. He's about 30 pounds and very strong. Here are some pictures of him on his birthday.

New Tattoos

Today Sandra and I went to get tattoos and boy was it painful!! It's so worth it though I love them. I got two Chinese characters...Dream and Love. Sandra got two lilies. I think we both want to go back in August and get more...I will finally get my fairy and she will be getting some butterflies.

Update on Charlie

I haven't written about Charlie in a very long time so I think its time to share some more pictures and get his recent adventure out on the net lol. Well Charlie is now 11 months, he will be a one year old on July 10th....and yes he will be having a birthday party!!!! Here are a couple new pics of him...doing what he does best NOTHING AT ALL.

4 Months Post-Op

Well everything is still going really well...
I've now lost 70 pounds in total.
Lately my iron has really dropped by I've started to take pills so it should all get better. I'm going to start to incorporate more healthy foods into my diet such as lentils, beans, chick peas, etc. I know its going to be hard but I want to slowly work my way to becoming Vegitarian and once I've mastered that I'm going to work on becoming a Vegan...all by the end of the year.
Anyways here is a picture taken during a Mother's Day celebration this year. In the picture with me is my best friend Sandra...who is always there for me and listens to all my stories the good and bad ones lol

UPDATE (June 20th): I stepped on the scale this morning and I've now lost 76 pounds....I'm going to aim for 4 more pounds by the end of the month so I can call it even at 80...longer term goal is 100 pounds lost by mid September.

3 Months Post-Op

I feel great about making it to my goal 60 pounds in three months. Now I will work on losing 10 more pounds by the end of the month. Here is a recent picture of me.

Just a Brief Update

Not too sure that there is much to say. I've now lost 58 pounds and I'm really happy. Working towards making it to 60 pounds lost. I set little goals so that I feel great when I reach them. I now have only two days to lose 2 pounds so that by my 3 month mark it will be the even 60.

Scallops Wrapped in Bacon

These aren't too fatty but at the same time I wouldn't have them everyday because of the bacon. It was just a treat so I had one.

You will need:
1 package of bamboo skewers
1 pound fresh scallops
1/4 pound bacon or enough to wrap one slice around each scallop
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon vinegar
2 tablespoons mustard
2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions:
1. Soak skewers in bowl of water. Drain
2. Wrap 1 slice of bacon around scallop and place on skewer
3. In small bowl combine honey, vinegar, mustard and olive oil
4. Brush onto scallops and bacon
5. Place on baking pan and broil for 5 minutes per side or until crispy. Serve

Try it out and I hope you enjoy

FINALLY

I've finally lost my first 50 pounds!!! Its taken 74 days...which sounds like a lot but really isn't its about 10 weeks. Alright so lets see if I can lose 10 more pounds by the end of the month.

Second Endoscopic Dilatation

Pictures: First thats the view from the camera when its going down your throat. Second picture thats the actual devise they stick down your throat and the balloon thats used. Third picture the first two diagrams illustrate what I had done.

Alright so on Friday I went to the hospital thinking that I didn't have anything to worry about that my procedure would happen painless and quick....I WAS WRONG. This time I wasn't asleep when everything happened. They stuck the camera down my throat while I was awake and they starting blowing up the balloon when I was awake. It hurt so bad I was actually crying. I remember the doctor telling me and now we are blowing up the balloon and then I must have passed out. I woke up and for some strange reason I was still crying lol. After Dr. Huynh talked with me and he said he thinks this will be the last one I will have to have done. Which was great news after the painful event that I had just been through. Also he noticed my stomach is very irritated so I have to take some meds to make it better.

Well I got to say that this was the worst part so far about my entire weight loss journey. It was really scary and painful. Its now Sunday and my stomach is still sore but I had some rice and chicken yesterday and that was GREAT!!

First Support Group Meeting

Today was the first meeting of the WLS Support Group. It was great to meet Joyce, Kris, Vivian and Kelly. They are amazing and all really fun. I learned so much from them in about an hour. There are some things that were a little scary but also some great advice. I can't wait until next month when we all meet up again.

Haven't weighed myself this week but I might tomorrow. I got two new shirts and some tights yesterday and it was great because I went down two dress sizes. I have a lot I want to say but just don't know how to say it so I'll think about it and adjust this post soon.

Almost 2 Months

Alright so I stepped on the scale again and I've officially lost 47 pounds now. I'm happy and really looking forward to losing more. Things have been a little stressful lately because I just don't know what to eat anymore. What I can eat changes from day to day. One day salmon is great the next day I can't keep it down. I met a fellow weight loss patient and we've started a small support group so I'm really excited about that.

45 Days Post-Op

I finally went for a visit with my favorite doctor...Dr.Gallant and I discovered that what I've been doing isn't ideal. I really need to eat and take my vitamins and stop worrying that I might gain weight because I'm doing great. It's really hard to want to eat because I'm so scared of failing but with no food then I have no energy. Dr. Gallant weighed me for the first time in years because before he knew I didn't even want to see the numbers and to my surprise I've now lost 40 pounds!!! It feels great but I don't celebrate much because I don't feel like it's enough. I wish that it would be more but I can't possibly eat less, unless I go back to just liquids. Dr. Gallant is right I should be happy but I'm not! He has tried to reassure me that I'm doing an excellent job but I just don't know. I'm so scared now that I can eat solids that I will eat too much or that I will stop losing weight its horrible. I didn't think I would feel this way. Don't get me wrong I don't regret the surgery not at all. I just get really scared...there is nothing after this I CAN'T FAIL!!!

SWEET FOOD!!!!

I can finally eat solid food. Yesterday I had a pupusa obviously not a whole one and it was just cheese but OMG it was amazing never tasted so good. Then for dinner I went out and had an actual meal. Salmon and veggies and I brought half home for lunch today. Honestly all it took was a little procedure that lasted like one hour in total including recovery time. The procedure was called an endoscopic dilatation. There was no pain during the procedure only my throat hurt for a few days after.
Also good news is that I have now lost 36 pounds, which makes me really happy.

Spicy Cabbage Rolls

So yesterday I decided to finally make these cabbage rolls I had read about. Well when I looked over the recipe I didn't really have everything but I figured I could still give it a try. Anyways I used two different recipes and made it into one really good one. They were a little spicy but my mom loved them. I other hand got to taste them but like everything else these days it didn't want to stay down. Well if anyone wants the wicked recipe let me know.

PoemZ

Alright so I recently came across some old poems that I have written and well some aren't too embarrassing so I decided to post them. Clearly I need to find a new topic to write about. Apparently heartache is my forte...which is funny because most people write about how beautiful love is and I write about the hurt is causes. I haven't written anything in a while so don't be thinking this applies to anything recent. Honestly I'm not sure they are about anyone at all just my random feelings as to how CRAPPY love and lust can really be. I have others that when read the person would know it's about them so I kept those out.

December 18, 2007

Things are not always what they seem. We are often too involved in ourselves to see what is in front of us

Preoccupied people become lonely people

You want things to be simple but they just keep getting harder

You want me to be blind to your rage but you are not willing to see what I feel

You want me to stop shouting but you are deaf to my pleas

December 17, 2007

I often wonder why I'm always running into walls. When it often happens that I have my heart crushed. I need to learn to not want to go so quickly. For life and love are not meant to be races but meant to be acts of leisure and pleasure.

Feb.6th/06
Frigid Heart
The wind blows strong and the coldness of the night sticks to your bones.
Yet the frigid temperature does not penetrate my cold and shattered heart.
Its lonely and brittle.
I don’t feel the sharp sting of the wind for I have lost my senses.
I have lost all my hopes and dreams.
They have floated away they have been lost in the wilderness of my vacant soul.

Feb.6th, 2006
The Pain of my Existence

I sit in this vast valley of joy, laughter, love, friendship
Yet all I feel is this deep and paralyzing sadness.
A sadness so deep that I can barely breathe.
It feels like a noose that is being pulled-
Tighter and tighter every hour every minute of every day.

Death Lingers ever so close it has become my shadow, my companion.
It schemes, plots my final hour, how long will it let me live, this tragic existence?
I long to be freed and at the same time I choose to continue to walk in the chains of pain and sorrow.

March 26, 2006
How Can I Forget You

How do I forget you, when everything reminds me of you?
How does my heart lean to see you as little less than a friend?
My body, my heart and my soul yearn for you.
I can’t breathe when I don’t have you near.
The walls of my life are slowly closing in on me.
I’m frighten by the thought of never being in your arms again.
Many sleepless nights have been witness to my sorrow over losing you.
I just refuse to let you go.
How can I forget you, when I still care about you.

March 1, 2007
LOVE

When no one sees me I can be or not be

Love is always kind and never cruel
Love is given not bought
Love is a feeling not something you can produce

Love should never be a lie
Love should never make you cry

Love should be strong
Love should make you smile
Love should feel like the best piece of cake
Love can be blind but we must remember to open our eyes

love is a contract b/w 2 ppl and in it they agree to make each other happy be honest with one another and to never cheat

Charlie...Monster/Angel

Well in 3 days Charlie is going to be 8 months and I wanted to post some new pictures of him. Yes I know I'm obsessed with him but hey I'm his mama and I have to show him off!!